Lust or Love

You fall in love , or so you think... and then it just all comes crumbling down. I have been in and out of relationships , good and bad , time and time again and I still do not seem to understand the difference. My last "love" I still think about and miss even though its been long over a month since our last talk. He came into my life one day , let me fall in love and then we met a week later. Things were good. I was head over heals and I truly thought things would be different with him, but they weren't. Kept telling me he loved me , telling me about the importance of communication and then one day, no more IMs , no more calls , no more I love yous and no more him... I didn't see it coming not at all... just like I didn't see that 4 word email coming from an ex a while back.
I am sitting here... thinking about him , crying over him and missing him and I don't understand. What do I keep doing wrong that I can't seem to keep anyone around for more then a few weeks? Why do they all go away? Why can't anyone just love me for who I am?

Letter to the man I loved.
It seems like just yesterday that you were here,
holding my hand and keeping me warm.
Telling me you love me,
making love to me,
and showing me that I was alive.
Just an illusion.
Just a facade.
I was just another girl,
just another number,
just another fuck.
I was stupid to believe you,
naive to trust you,
and a hell of a fool to love you.
In and out of my life,
faster then the first winter snow.
I am done now.
Done crying over you,
done hurting because of you,
and done blocking out people who care about me
just cause you "MIGHT" come back.
I doubt you will.
I am done.
You can keep my memory ,
You can keep that piece of my love that I gave you.
But you CAN NOT keep me.
I'm moving on.

Its hard letting go but I have to before I go insane. So I blog ,and hope that it gets better. I hope that I will forget and I hope that I will heal and be able to Love and trust again. I just...
Hope.